guessing at motives

I will always be more willing to criticize someone's thinking or actions or words than speculate on what their inner thoughts or motives are.

When people have speculated on that about me, it's incredible how off they are. Catherine will say, "It was obvious that you wanted ....", and I'll say, "You thought I *what*?"

And that's from people who love each other and are committed and often see the best in each other and think the best of each other. So even in an ideal situation, imputing thoughts to someone is tricky.

Most situations, though, aren't ideal. Maybe you're dealing with a person you don't know as closely. You may not be as ready to give them the benefit of a doubt.

If there is any one thing I could sweep away from Facebook, it would be the tendency of people to guess at another person's motives. Those guesses bring mischief 90% of the time. To sweep it all away may cost some but would buy much.