fun with sam and jan and dick

(All names and artistic details are changed.)

At a recent party, some people got into a discussion of Zero Attack, one of those shows with overarching storylines, the kind of thing you have to watch from the very first episode in order to get it. The entire series had come to a conclusion. Sam and Jan hadn't seen it; they were trying to decide whether to commit — and had very carefully kept themselves in the dark so as not to spoil anything — but were skeptical based on what they'd heard from people who had.

Some had said the whole thing was a bust. (With many such stories, with lots of plot twists and characters, it's almost impossible to pull off a satisfactory conclusion.) They felt robbed, and insisted it was a waste of time.

Others, though (including me), had said it was no bust at all. I was very satisfied by the show was pulled off, and was impressed that the storyteller had so masterfully sewn it all together. I'd spent a little while defending it and assuring Sam and Jan that it's a compelling tale well told, when Dick spoke up.

Dick said the series finale was a cop-out and a disappointment that rendered the whole story a waste. I asked for details, though keeping my language vague so as not to spoil it for Sam and Jan. It came out that Dick hadn't seen the whole story. He gave up in the second or third season, figuring that the show had lost its way and the storyteller was just making things up and marking time till they could figure out how to get out of it.

So he hadn't seen the whole series after all? Well, no; he'd seen nothing but the first seasons and then — disastrously — the last episode. That's it. Naturally he would think dimly of the series; anyone would who'd experienced it that way.

I assured him that he'd gotten the wrong impression, and that during those seemingly slow stretches the storyteller was just laying groundwork for what comes later. This is an argument I'm used to making about the tedious-seeming parts of Wagner's Ring Cycle. In both Wagner and the series, it's entirely true. You think the storyteller might have lost his way, but — nope! — much much later it turns out that the information you were getting was essential, and pays off in spades.

I said all that, and Dick poopooed it. He even mentioned one episode: "the one with the two big guys in suits." The very model, he said, of one of those meaningless episodes that does nothing for the series and gets you nowhere.

I responded, "Ahhhh. You picked the Perfect Bad Example. That episode turned out to be vital: it had tons of stuff in it that proved that they knew what they were doing from the very first moment, and details and information that gets wrapped up in later seasons."

He quite simply didn't believe it, though I was sitting there right in front of him as someone who had seen every single episode and seen how it all came together, and though he was sitting there right in front of me as someone who had quit pretty early and then only swooped in for the last few moments.

Then, as Sam and Jan were listening, Dick went on: "But I saw the end, and it doesn't get wrapped up."

Me: "Well, it doesn't all get entirely wrapped up in just the final episode. All through the last season the storylines get resolved and minor and major things are addressed."

Dick: "Uh-huh. The last episode doesn't resolve anything, though. Oh, sure, we find out Sherlock and Jezebel and the whole Robinson family are all mafia after all, except for Timmy. Sheeeesh, what a cop-out."

Me: (looks aghast at Sam and Jan, who have just had the single most vital plot point completely ruined for them) Thanks, Dick.

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